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alisona's avatar

I believe that pretty much all man named 'diseases', 'viruses', etc. etc. are but manufactured to 'label' different types and levels of poisoning. Their interest is never to cure you of the poisoning but only in making as much profit as possible through their pharmaceutical's and surgeries. Further, the more pharmaceutical's you take the more you need due to 'side effects' which continue to then poison you and possibly ultimately to kill you once your insurance has run dry IMHO

Factscinator's avatar

🚨 Breaking News… “Just in…” 🚨

Experts at the World Hoax Organization have announced the rapid global spread of a highly contagious cognitive condition dubbed:

🦠 B.I.V.s™ — Belief In Viruses Syndrome 🧠📡

Authorities warn the condition is now circulating aggressively through alternative and lame stream media ecosystems. 📺🌍

Investigators remain uncertain about the precise origin of the outbreak. However, several superspreader networks have reportedly been identified distributing industrial scale quantities of fear porn. 🏭😱

Primary Transmission Vector:

A terrifying narrative involving a made up microscopic threat allegedly leaping from cruise ships 🚢 to television studios 📡 before engulfing the planet in synchronized panic. 🌎😨

Early symptoms of BIVS in what experts are now calling “Muppet Syndrome™” include:

📱 Obsessive doom-scrolling.

📊 Compulsive case-number monitoring.

🧪 Sudden amateur expertise in the epidemiological modelling of a FAKE “virus.”

🦭 Clapping like trained seals alongside your neighbours for the frontline “hellth” workers who were officially sanctioned to maim and murder you. 💉💦💀

Authorities insist this is merely the incubation stage. ⏳

⚠️ Complications:

In severe cases, patients may develop a psycho-social disorder known as:

🤡 Long Muppet™ — 😱

Symptoms include:

😷 Wearing multiple masks while alone on nature trails. 🌲🚶‍♂️

🧴 Sanitizing groceries, furniture, pets, and air. 🛒🛋️🐕💨

📦 Treating package deliveries like unexploded military devices. 💣

📺 Structuring entire emotional states around televised infection graphs. 📉😨

🕵️ Publicly posting: “We’re all in this together” ❤️ while anonymously reporting neighbors for illegal birthday gatherings. 🎂🚔

🧻 Panic-buying enough toilet paper to survive several generations despite the threat allegedly being respiratory. 😷🛒

📢 Sudden belief that questioning televised experts constitutes domestic extremism. 🚨

🎤 Emotional dependence on celebrity singalongs, government slogans, and interpretive TikTok dances performed by suspiciously unoccupied hospital staff. 💃🏥

🦠 Posting sermons on Substack about “spike proteins” derived from a fictitious civilization-ending microbe after prolonged exposure to CNN programming. 📡🧠

💉 Continually signing yourself — and your kids — up for endless “kill shots” while people all around drop off like flies post-jab. 🪰⚰️

🏛️ Public Health Recommendations:

✅ Maintaining a functioning sense of humor 😂

✅ Basic familiarity with the scientific method and Koch’s Postulates 🔬📚

✅ Avoiding panic-based identity formation 🧠⚠️

✅ Immediate exposure of BIV sufferers to Mike Stone's treasure trove of resources at viroLIEgy.com — blueprints to escape the Germ Theory Prison™ 📄📂🔓😄

✅ Remembering that frightened populations are easier to manage, monetize, and digitally shepherd into the New Normal™ Digital Gulag enclosure system. 📲🚪

Please remain calm while panic is permanently normalized. 😌📡

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